Did The CIA Steal Oracle From the Russians Making Larry Ellison Worth $61 Billion?

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At the UKOUG conference in Birmingham last week, the OakTable got a new member – ‘Oracle geek’ Kurt van Meerbeeck from Belgium – the author of DUDE, Pepi and Pretoria, and a guy with a slight hint of humour.

His presentation had people laughing rather hard, and so I’ve chosen to publish his theory on Oracle’s origin – in other words, how CIA stole the source code from the Russians, who had developed it originally!

Here we go, in Kurt’s own words:

I believe, to truely understand X$ tables you need to have some basic knowledge of an eastern european language … just to even pronounce them. Now – Oracle used to be named after a CIA project right ?

And Oracle hasexisted … for how long now… 31 years ?

I think the Americans stole the source code from the Russians during the cold war – and asked Larry and his team to read in the tape (they were developing tape driver software weren’t they).

Probably they were expecting some list of agents and I can imaging the CIA was quite dissapointed when they saw this source code full of X$ garble.

I guess they told Larry he could keep the tapes and on he went revealing this relational database power… of course they couldn’t use the X$ stuff so they wrote V$ views on top of them … so people could understand…

It’s not a coincidence that after the fall of the Berlin wall a *lot* of features were added – Oracle 6 was almost a complete rewrite !!!

So to end this – and you are probably wondering about this … how come Jonathan Lewis is such a wiz in X$ tables ???

There’s only one explanation – MI6 ! His codename was probably OO-600 … with a license to kill your instance 😉 (math-teacher … yeah – right !)

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